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[03 Jan 2007|11:33pm] |
i couldn't imagine this is what would happen.
am i happy? well i'm anxious. i'm anxious for so much.
blahbalbhalbahbl
i don't have the patient to write around what i mean anymore.
so i'll just finish it with the upfront.
the 411 if you will.
i like the boy. me and him have chemistry. yeayea
you and me, well we didn't and you cry like a girl if your shoelaces come undone.
so i ruined a thing with a friendship and something else with the blabhalbhabl.
and now i feel pretty okay though? and i feel like this is good.
but what if.
but who cares!
i'll be gone soon enough.
should i just take it as it is.
well isn't my life i
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[12 Dec 2006|09:12pm] |
This is me taking the thorn out of my side.
or the stick out of my butt.
which one offends you less.
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[09 Nov 2006|10:22pm] |
do you know. i think i'm okay.
i just have a couple problemos. and i'm working on it.
and people stink at keeping their word.
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[29 Sep 2006|03:54pm] |
just a quick thought.
real quick.
we hear all the time, that if we don't do yada and if you don't get involved with smeehsma, then we will regret it later in life. If we aren't such and so, or busy bunnies, then we will be sad.
but as we look for all these life changing moments, and all these experiences that are supposed to help us later in life with our life satisfaction.
what if we miss the real ones, the ones that we pass by, because we are supposed to be looking for so much more.
just a thought.
real quick.
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[10 Sep 2006|10:25pm] |
i mean in all matters of honesty. my life could not be more of a velcro shoe, size 5 and a half. i travel in airplanes! only to reach the floor beneath my bed. and that is my vacation. and then i just run out.
of energy.
of time.
of love.
of lust.
of laughter.
of ha's
of boos
i'm out. i'm completely left of right.
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[31 Jul 2006|05:05pm] |
i'm not offended. and i'm not trying to offend.
but nothing pulls me back to this place anymore.
i don't want to pick up the connection devic e.
to call your face. i have no drive to look for you.
too bad this home is not? what it ever was.
i guess it never was anyways for the get go.
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[15 Jul 2006|12:22am] |
and all my loose ends come to a complete stop at the same time.
not only do i lose on string, but every one. and now i'm free falling because because
well i'm not really sure.
maybe it's good i'll be gone. maybe this is where i start again.
i'm not even sure who to look at and call dear anymore. because everytime i say friend it seems they have more important things to do than wish me a happy farewell. or even care to for that matter. maybe it's no big deal. it is no big deal. but i guess i guess. i don't know anymore than you ever did. and a good educated guess says that i never will.
i'm tired of being the conversation start. how about you ask me about me for a once in a while change. i've discovered new discovers and who could i tell if nobody questions.
now here is a riddle.
what shape is true love. and what path is the fork one, it always seems so cute. who would ever want to be a racecar driver. and who wants to
i'm so jumbled
i guess this whole time proving that i was you know. it proves i'm just a
i have no words anymore. nothing to describe anything.
i'm all out. empty.
but i'm not sad. nor upset. nor confused. just transparent. which i think is almost worse. because it's just
blank
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[29 Jun 2006|02:15pm] |
why does everyone elses hair grow sooo fast.
and mine doesn't grow.
boooooo
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[22 Jun 2006|12:42am] |
throwing myself at a stone.
damn karma.
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[17 Jun 2006|12:26am] |
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i remember at night times when i would act out a story in my head. a perfect story, in my past opinion of how you would fall madly in love with me again. dialogue and what not. the works. and that would rock me to sleep. hoping that the rest of the night passed with thoughts of you too. i would rest easy. i would fall asleep quickly. and now. so now. who now knows now.
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[07 Jun 2006|11:50am] |
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I just want something new.
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[24 May 2006|09:38pm] |
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i don't think i've ever been so stubborn and so alone in my whole life.
seriously. i know i say a lot of evers and forevers and whatever.
but this time i think it's ...well you know. i am standing by myself and feet of my own. and for once i'm not just trying to fly under the radar-adar. trying to avoid conflicts, though i have. and just really honestly being by myself. right now. i wish i could word this right. i feel independent, for the first time in two and a half years i'm not depending on someone else for my happiness. right? right.
and you know what is it..that makes this worth wording. is i feel happy. and content. and happy. in this moment. because for once i am happy for myself and not because of someone else's doing. and i don't mind floating anymore from lily pad to pad. because i think finally i feel like where i land..somehow now i belong. and then another area. and it's just good. and it really is refreshing and UH OH...yea it's kind of nice.
i think i am becoming dumber. but hey it's summer right?
hey you, i'm proud of who i am. are you proud of me?
_______
I can't really change how you feel for me honey.
I just need some peace tonight.
_____
i think that's just right.
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[13 May 2006|10:21am] |
summer couldn't come soon enough.
i'm back to square one.
with a bunch of faces surrounding a plate, and i just don't know which one to attempt to dive into.
in two or in too?
i could say that neither will work for different reasons which add up to the same fact. and i can also say i miss what i gave away. but that's where i messed up. and this is where i ignore it because you are too.
tata whoa baby. seriously i wouldn't mind.
16 days i'm 17. then only 300 something until i can use my brain and form conclusions.
by the way. you stinky at making decisions. and this is your loss mister. or maybe you are just like them. and in that case, you are doing me a HUGE favor. so thanks, very considerate.
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[07 May 2006|11:55am] |
Doesn't everyone fall in love.
I thought everyone got married
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[23 Apr 2006|04:22pm] |
i don't know why i like you.
i shouldn't
i really don't want to.
or see you.
and then i do.
uuuuas;dljfas;dlfkja;lkwjg ;ai j;akfja;olieuf;awejf;aiew
yuck.
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[06 Nov 2005|02:24pm] |
I can't wait any longer.
i want to leave here.
____________behind.
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[09 Jul 2005|10:52am] |
everything was supposed to end up perfectly...
it was supposed to.
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[21 Jun 2005|11:15pm] |
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mood |
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 happy/sad |
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How can i be this happy. yet upset at the same time. i just don't get it.
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[24 Dec 2004|10:36am] |
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comment and i'll add you =)
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